Who's the next Target?
by The Keeper of secrets
Summary: A small fic about Lily, the school gossip column, James and a clumsy owl named Genghis Khan. r+R!


Disclaimer: Not mine, only the plot belongs to me. Who will be the next Target? Monday Its monday again, and once more I sit in the Gryffindor table having a bowl of soggy oatmeal. I suppose I added too much milk because the oatmeal would be easier to drink than to eat. Anyways I looking at the plate of disgusting soggy oatmeal and just as I was about to eat a spoonful, a huge owl knocked straight into me, drenching poor Remus who was sitting beside me with oatmeal. I helped him clean up a bit before I saw who's owl it was. It was one of the oldest school owls, Genghis Khan, who had arrived with my copy of the daily school paper. Whomever called that silly bird Genghis Khan made a good choice, because just like Genghis Khan, that bird could literally kill anybody who got in its way. After I returned to my seat, cleaned up my spot (a handy cleaning spell) and gave Genghis Khan a piece of bacon, I settled to read the paper and munch on cold toast. I groaned inwardly when I saw who the idiot writer of the gossip column had targeted this time. Honestly, poor Peter, he certainly does not like Patti Jenkins and Patti Jenkins most certainly does not like Severus Snape. You know what? One of these days I'm going to march up to the guy and hit him on the head so he can at least write more sensible gossip or truthful at that. But perhaps if I actually did this, I would see something like "Lily Evans made out with Lucius Malfoy and cheated on her boyfriend, James Potter" on the front page. No, that is most certainly not a good idea, because first of all James Potter is not my boyfriend and secondly because Lucius Malfoy would never cheat on his darling Narcissa. Though this mystery gossip writer writes nothing but lies, it is an interesting column. I always wake up wondering, who will be the next target and pleading to god it isn't me. This writer's favorite target is James Potter, but he just shrugs it off and the writer hasn't gossiped about him in months because we all learned not to trust his word on James, or maybe James pranked him. Anyways, I might stop by the newspaper and talk to the writer, ask him what basis he has for the writing of his gossip, maybe. If I decide it is a good idea. Tuesday I did it. I went and talked to that blasted writer, who turned out to be Rita Skeeter, the Hogwarts gossip queen. I only suggested that she should base the column on real gossip and not made-up rumors, and she basically yelled at me and got mad. Geez, that girl has quite a temper! Then after yelling at me for 5 minutes, I got mad and yelled back. She threatened to write something evil about me, I told her I didn't care. Great move Evans, now it'll be on the front page today in big, red, bold letters. I'm scared to death. Skeeter is smirking at me from the Slytherin table. I gulp hard. Thats when lovely Genghis appeared, zooming towards me at full speed with the paper. I duck and it hit Remus instead. Remus just laughed. I glare at Skeeter as I untie the paper from Genghis's leg. Not only does she put my name on the first page, she also makes sure my paper is delivered by Genghis and I am once more, publicly humiliated. I take a deep breath as I unroll the paper, ready to be maddened by Rita's scheme to humiliate me. I wait to see the big, red, bold letters shouting the dreaded headline. But...there's nothing. I sigh in relief. I smirk at Rita who jst smirks back. I open up to the gossip column and that's where the big, blue, bold letters were announcing that I, Lily Evans was dating James Potter. And to top it off with a cherry Skeeter had placed a huge Photograph of me and James kissing. A color photograph. I wanted to dissappear and kill Skeeter at the same time. To make things worse, James tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, as red as a tomato. "Ah, yes love, I see you've noticed our 'secret affair' has been discovered. That photograph doesn't do you justice Lily dear, you are much prettier than that. I would like to talk to you outside Lily-poo". Lily-poo. Oh. MY. GOD. I WILL kill her. Anyways, I manage to somehow smile, grab James's hand and walk (more like march) out of the great hall. Once outside, I let go of his hand. "Iwillnotkillher. Iwillnotkillher. Iwillnotkillher. Iwillnotkillher. Iwillnotkillh-" "Oh Lily, of course you won't, Rita is undestructable. We still could prank her though...she went too far this time." I grinned. "Yes. Prank her. We could tie her to her bed and then cover her in shaving cream and place the jelly-legs curse and then give her a pig tail and a-" James stopped me before I could say any more. "Lily darling, I've got a much better idea." Wednesday Today, I am the happiest girl on Earth. The happiest 17-year-old on Earth. Not only have I finally got Skeeter back for her headline, but I have also managed to get a boyfriend. Too much happened yesterday, how did it go? Ah yes, you see... James and I crept into the Newspaper classroom under his invisibility cloak around midnight. The only thing in there was the magical press, who had just begun to print out the copies of the newspaper. James stopped the printing and took one of the copies. I charmed it so that the gossip headline would fade, leaving an empty space. Then James handed me the piece of parchment on which our lovely payback was written. I charmed the words to copy themselves onto the empty space and James started the press again. Rita skeeter is sure gonna be surprised today when she reads the paper. That isn't all. Then the press went crazy and started to throw newspapers all over the room. James being the immature person he is, started a paper fight and me being the immature person I am, counter-attacked. Soon we were laughing and playing while the press was going crazy. Then James slipped and I tripped over his foot, falling right on top of him. talk about awkard moments. I could only concentrate on those gorgeous chocolate orbs of his. Then he kissed me. And I...kissed him back. So Rita Skeeter wasn't wrong after all, I am dating James Potter. Today, I am eating toast again (which was buttered by James) and reading a bit of the charms book. That's when my paper arrived, again via Genghis Khan. Luckily this time, Genghis wasn't in a vindictive mood and landed softly beside me. You know what? Genghis isn't that bad, he's just clumsy. I gave him a piece of bacon and read the paper, smiling to myself. I glance at Skeeter out of the corner of my eye and see her about to explode. The headline is written in big, red, bold letters that announce "Rita Skeeter is a fraud, and has made up all the gossip written in this column." I smile to myself again and wonder, as usual, who will be the target tomorrow.  
  
A/N: I hope you liked it! tHe KeEpEr Of SeCrEtS 


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